Question from Divorce Court

I have a lot of down time lately.

Blanche is busy with her birds and coming up with new recipes for rat. My career has waned into oblivion. For some reason the studios aren't interested in hiring me back even though I was box office gold.

My days anymore are spent watching judge shows on the television. So, today I was watching divorce court and the question of the day from Judge Lynn Toler was

"Do you think it's better on a relationship to admit an affair"

Personally, I think it depends on the couple. Some couples are able to work through anything. Some couples are able to continually go out and have affairs on each other and they are fine with it. Yet other couples call it quits after one or another may simply look or talk to someone else and nothing physical ever comes from it.

Affairs have been going on since the dawn of time. Look at the "Garden of Eden". Man was made, woman was made. Adam wasn't interested right away. Then something, looking suspiciously like that part of Adam that Eve wanted, slithers out of a tree and temps Eve with it's forbidden fruit. Obviously they made up..... So, I guess that meant that age old statement "not if she were the last woman on the planet" proved to be false.  Or I guess it could also prove the little head has been doing the thinking for the big head for eons!

Affairs aren't a good thing. Unfortunately, it's not possible to stop them for the whole world. Maybe someday if scientists come up with a pill that would kill the human libido it might be possible. Until that time if you have an affair, it doesn't matter how well you know your significant other, keep it to yourself. If you're going to feel guilty about it, don't do it. Simple as that. You should know yourself, you should know your own character and be able to tell if you'd feel guilty. If things heat up with someone it is not impossible to stop yourself if your in the middle of the affair and return wholeheartedly to your spouse.

Gay Marriage...

What is all the fuss about Gay Marriage?

Some of my best friends are Gay. God know's I'm memorialized every Halloween by my loyal fans.

I think if a man wants to be with a man or a woman with a woman that's great - more power to them if they can stand to be around each other all day every day let them do it. The terminology "Gay Marriage" is what bothers me. This term sounds more like an off Broadway Play title than some kind of legal term. "Civil Union" is better, but still not quite there, civil union sounds too sterile, like a medical problem. Did you hear about Kenny?? he has "Civil Union"

I think it should be called "Sarriage" this works by combining Same with Marriage.

"Are you married?"

"No, I'm Sarried"

And as for all the Bible Thumpers out there. It's funny how the Bible is used in it's "Litteral" terms to justify something they want changed or they don't believe in. I won't bother giving examples, I've never actually read the bible. Too many words, too close together not enough space between lines. I've seen enough people talk about it online and heard people talk about it in person to believe it's true.

I just don't understand the problem.
Marriage =
Two people living together under one roof (or not).
Making money together (or not).
Raising kids (or not).
Keeping secrets (or not).  
Having affairs (or not).
Fighting over money (or not)
Fighting over in laws (or not)
Fighting over anything and everything (or not)

If this is good enough for straight people, why not let gay people experience it? It's not like marriage is such a great thing. In fact, from my perspective, it seems the gay people I know have better relationships than most straight people I know.